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QUESTION 6: The purpose of our life

14 - Sadomasochism

Stirring up the human psyche may bring some unpleasant surprises.  Sadomasochism can be found everywhere. It is what makes you take a chance with your life on the freeway to save a few seconds when you have nothing urgent to do.

The casinos calculated the probability of winning at many different games. The more you play, the closer you will get to those mathematical probabilities, and they are not in your favor. The gambler would rather focus on feelings. When he loses, he is a failure and should be ashamed. When he wins, he dominates everybody. He is the king, and everybody must pay him. In gambling, the sadomasochism overcomes any rational thinking. If we want to free our soul, we should get our sadomasochism under control.

To satisfy our need for sadomasochism, we even use the judicial system of our government. We want the world to be perfect and it can only be perfect by following our own ideas - of course! Sadomasochism starts when we are making laws that are not necessary. We justify our action by saying that “It is for their own good.”  We pretend that others cannot be happy unless they believe in our own god, follow our own religion and our own way of relating to one another. The truth is that there is some sadism in us that is out of control. Even an idea such as “Love your neighbor” mixed with human nature can become a burst of sadomasochism like The Inquisition.


Think of the thousands of wars that we have had in our history. Those people must have had very good reasons to extirpate each other. We know that they are not the best way to solve conflicts, but we keep the practice.  Wars are an opportunity to suffer and make others suffer. It was also an opportunity to unleash some human sadomasochism. Think of the ways people in the Middle Ages invented to make others suffer as much as possible: Boiling people in hot water, wrenching their tongue, burning their eyes. The most popular divertissement was watching them burning at the stake. What do you think was motivating them? Could it be sadomasochism?

What we call ‘geopolitics’ is sadomasochism at the government’s level. In a more civilized society, when there is a conflict, all the politicians responsible for the fighting would be accused of war crimes. They would be sent to The Hague. The judge would decide who can go back home and who will go to the battlefield to remove the mines.


Sadomasochism is part of our history.  The Romans designed many ways to make the defeated suffer as much as possible before dying. This deplorable behavior has been customary practice for centuries. How can you explain the refinement in the many ways people tortured their victims? How can you explain that a human being could torture another human being without some sadomasochism?

     Search “Torture” and you will be surprised to see the many ways people have invented to make the victim suffer as much as possible for as long as possible. What was the motivation behind it? Let’s face it. Sadomasochism is part of human nature, and this is not something to be proud of.

When grown-ups do not have enough stress in their life, they create some. They drive as fast as possible even when they have plenty of time. They don’t take their umbrella even when there is a good chance for rain. They wait as long as possible before getting a refill of gas. They enjoy the suspense. They will wait another year before cutting the dead tree that could fall on the house. They prefer to take a chance than getting vaccinated.

This is like getting as close as possible to the fire without getting burned.  It gives them the illusion of progressing. They are pushing the envelope! They are fighting destiny… or something like that.


To satisfy this need, we have used religions, governments, social conventions and anything within our reach. Religious beliefs that cannot be proved or disproved make a perfect excuse.  You satisfy your sadomasochism and say: “God made me do it”.

We imprison those who don’t follow the way of thinking of the majority. We use (our) morality and pretend that it is for the public good. This is sadism. The basic need stays the same. There is in the human nature a certain need for sadomasochism.


It is true that we made some progress. We don’t torture as much as we used to. We don’t burn people at the stake anymore.  We still have the Female Genital Mutilation and tortures in the jails. We still have a long way to go but our need for sadomasochism may not be as intense as it was a few centuries ago.


It seems that some countries are more prone to sadomasochism than others. Every detail of every day’s life can become an opportunity to make rules and those who do not follow the rules get chastised.

It can become tragic when sadomasochism makes people join a group and create a church that will take them to a foreign country to commit mass suicide.

It would be interesting to investigate if sadomasochism did not play a role - unconsciously -when millions of people followed blindly a leader all the way to their demise.

Sadomasochism is doing to the soul what money is doing to the body.

Let us try some empathy.


Pain and pleasure are processed in the same part of the brain called the nucleus accumbens. It releases dopamine when we experience pleasure. It is the same part of the brain that gets activated when we experience pain.

Is there a need for sadomasochism in human life?

We live under a glass ceiling. We are prisoners of a high maintenance human body. We want to free our soul from the level of matter, and we expect some pain. What kind of people could strive in those conditions? Sadomasochism comes to mind.

- Our ancestors did not master the use of fire without getting some blisters. That was only the beginning. They found that there is a price to pay for everything. No pain - No gain!

- Life in society would not be possible without some rules. In a democracy the individual has all the rights and delegates some of his rights to the government. We all drive on the same side of the road.

Sadomasochism starts with rules that are not necessary. “Use but don’t abuse” is a law of nature that must be respected.

- Some people need sadomasochism in their sex life.

- We live in a world dominated by money, wars, sadomasochism, oppression, crimes, geopolitics, fanaticism….  Look at them as a compost that we recycle. Use them as the flower uses the dirt. Even the most beautiful flower needs manure. 


We could even be proud, sometimes, of our sadomasochism. The souls that you see on earth want to speed up their evolution. They want to detach themselves from the material world. They know that it will not be easy and accept the challenge. They are willing to pay the price. Shouldn’t we be proud of them?

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